I couldn't leave. Eventually I did, but for a few moments, I just could not. I was a runner caught off second — frozen, absolutely frozen. My intention was to turn and exit the Upper Deck, the kind of task I'd accomplished with aplomb who knows how many times on how many levels of where I used to go to baseball games. I couldn't do it. I was physically unable to leave when it was all over. And it was all over.
The game was over.
The season was over.
The race was over.
The ceremony was over.
Shea Stadium (April 17, 1964 – September 28, 2008) was over.
But I couldn't leave behind what I was looking at. I couldn't turn away from it. I knew that when I turned away, it would be gone forever. Only by standing and staring at its field and at its seats and at its memories could I and I alone keep it hooked up to the respirator. Only I could assure it breath. Only I could keep it alive. As long as I stood there, as long as I refused to leave, Shea Stadium could continue to exist.
But I did leave and now it no longer exists. You can still drive by it on the Grand Central, you can still approach it from the Whitestone Expressway, you can still peek out the window on your flight in or out of LaGuardia, and a couple of transit lines will still ferry you past it. 123-01 Roosevelt Avenue is on the map for a little while longer. But it's not there. Maybe here (points to the head), definitely here (points to the heart), but not there where it counts.
It's not a ballpark anymore. A ballpark has ballgames. A ballpark has a ballclub. The club that used to play ball at Shea Stadium doesn't live there anymore. Neither do I. Nor do any of us. Without baseball and without the New York Mets there is — temporary physical evidence notwithstanding — no Shea Stadium.
There is no Shea Stadium.
Contemplate that, would you? Consider the width, breadth and depth of that statement. Shea Stadium was. Not is, but was. Shea Stadium constructs all its sentences for the rest of time in the past tense. Shea Stadium was over there. Shea Stadium was where we went. I used to go to Shea Stadium.
This is a situation unlike any I can fathom. I cannot fathom this situation at all. I saw it end. I heard it end. The gates all but shut in my wake. It's no longer where I go. It's where I went. It's unfathomable.
Shea Stadium's not there. I didn't want to leave it, but it was going no matter what I did.
The blog for Mets fans
who like to read Search
GET THE BOOK!
Faith and Fear in Flushing: An Intense Personal History by Greg Prince (foreword by Jason Fry), is available now via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers.  Recent Entries
Recent Photos
This Month
Month Archive
About Us
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.
Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here. Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here. To comment on the blog, register here. Or you can email us at faithandfear@gmail.com Use Facebook? Come check out our page, or drop by the personal pages for Greg and Jason. Or follow us on Twitter: Here's Greg, and here's Jason Faith and Fear Shirts
The Faith and Fear in Flushing "numbers" shirt has been seen from Verona, N.J., to Venice. You can get yours right here -- price about as cheap as we can make it. Blog Park @ FAFIF Yards
Dream Seats (Sit Back and Enjoy)
Amazin' Avenue Metphistopheles MetsBlog Mets Guy in Michigan Metstradamus Mets Walkoffs Mike's Mets Field Level (Close to the Action) Always Amazin' BlueAndOrange.net Eddie Kranepool Society Hot Foot MetsGeek The Mets Police Real Dirty Mets Blog Loge (Unique Perspective) The Ballclub Brooklyn Met Fan Dana Brand Mets Fan Blog The InterMet Loge 13 Mets Are Better Than Sex Mets Grrl Met Silverman My Summer Family No No Hitters Optimistic Mets Fan Remembering Shea Section 528 Take the 7 Train Yankees 2000 Curse Auxiliary Press Box Daily News: Surfing the Mets John Delcos' NY Mets Report Flushing Fussing Improve Conditions (Tim Marchman) Journal News: The LoHud Mets Blog Newsday: On the Mets Beat Post: Mets Chat The Record: Amazin' Stories Star-Ledger: On the Mets Times: Bats (Mets Posts) WFAN: Ed Coleman Mezzanine (Great Distance) 213 Miles From Shea Archie Bunker's Army Chicago Mets Fan It's Mets for Me Let's Go Mets Lone Star Mets Mets Fan in Chicago Southern Mets Transplanted Mets Fan Upper Deck (What a Crowd!) 24 Hours From Suicide Betty's No Good Bitter Bill Global NY Mets Fan Blog Go Mets Die Braves Gotta Believers I Hate the Mets Matt Himelfarb Met Baseball Mets Fans Forever Mets Fever Mets Heads Mets Lifer Mets Merized Online Mets Prospect Hub Mets Prospects Mets Today Misery Loves Company Mostly Mets Mr. Metzyzptlk Never Forget '69 Oh Murph Perfect Pitch Pessimets Pick Me Up Some Mets Priced Out of the Citi The 'Ropolitans Seven Train to Shea Studious Metsimus The Wright Stuff Ya Gotta Believe Zisk Online Mets Extra
You Could Look It Up
Baseball Almanac: Mets The Baseball Cube Baseball Library Baseball Prospectus Baseball Reference: Mets Cool Standings Cot's Baseball Contracts ESPN: Players ESPN: Scores Hall of Fame Metaforian Mets by the Numbers Retrosheet Salary vs. Performance Ultimate Mets Database The Youth of America Buffalo Bisons Binghamton Mets St. Lucie Mets Savannah Sand Gnats Brooklyn Cyclones Kingsport Mets The Braintrust Daily News The Journal News Newsday New York Post The Record (N.J.) The Star-Ledger New York Times Road Apples Atlanta Journal-Constitution Miami Herald Philly.com Washington Post Press Notes Ballhype ESPN Clubhouse: Mets ESPN Local MLB Press Pass Sports Illustrated: Mets Sports Illustrated Vault SportsSpyder Yahoo Mets Grant's Tombs Polo Grounds Shea Stadium CitiField Out of Town Scoreboard Ballparks, Arenas & Stadiums Ballparks of Baseball Ballpark Tour Baseball Pilgrimages Clem's Ballpark Diagrams Digital Ballparks Frank's Ballparks Jay Buckley Baseball Tours Mike McCann's Engaging Images Stadium Page Frequency Bob Murphy CW 11 Gary, Keith & Ron MLB Extra Innings Neil Best's Watchdog NY Baseball Digest Radio Roadtrip SNY WFAN XM Radio YouTube: JPhilips41 The Picnic Area 19th Century Mets 100 Greatest NY Days Armchair GM Bad Mets Brooklyn Ballparks Bugs and Cranks Carl's Mets Page CBS Sportsline: Mets Centerfield Maz Crosstown Rivals DGW Photo Blog Eephus Pitch Flushing University Forgotten New York Gotham Baseball Hot Dog Vending at Shea Howard Megdal I Heart Mets Inside Pitch Jackie Robinson Foundation Knuckleball From Hell Long Island Ducks Mathematically Alive Meet the Matts Met Camp Met Fan Book Mets Fan Club Mets Images Mets Pulse Mets Short Mets Tube Mets Zone New York Mets Hall of Records NY Mets Report NY Sports Day NY Sports Dog NY SportSpace A Piece of Shea Productive Outs & Cracker Jack Pro Sports Daily: Mets Rumors A Quest for Keith Record Online SABR NYC Save the Apple SportSnipe Steve's Mets Photos TNYM True Fans Bleed Blue & Orange Very Unofficial Mets Site Extreme Baseball At Home Plate Baseball Analysts Baseball Bookshelf Baseball Card Blog Baseball Crank Baseball Fever Baseball Limo Baseball Talmud Baseball Think Factory Baseball Toaster Blogging Baseball Bobby V's Way Brent Mayne Cardboard Gods Cardboard Junkie The Dead Ball Era The Dugout Dugout Central Excruciating Baseball Lists Hardball Times Israel Baseball League Japan Baseball Daily Jewish Major Leaguers Life in the Minors Negro Leagues Baseball Museum Quality At-Bats Rob Kirkpatrick 1969 SABR Sports Collectors Daily Squeeze Play Cards Stats on the Back Streetplay Super '70s Baseball Cards Topps Baseball Card Blog United States of Baseball USA Today Write On Sports Yard Work Multipurpose Stadium American Legends Blooming Ideas Brooklyn Mutt Can't Stop the Bleeding The Daily Fix Dan Shanoff Deadspin Gelf Magazine Getting Paid to Watch Get Untracked Gil Meche Experience Hot Stove New York Jeff Pearlman The Jestaplero Joe Posnanski Ladies... Legend of Cecilio Guante Mike's Neighborhood New York Magazine: The Sports Section Riding With Rickey Scratchbomb Straight Flushing Uni Watch Uni Watch Blog The Rotunda Amazinz Crane Pool Forum Grand Slam Single Happy Recap Board Mets Refugees The Mofo Talk Baseball Everybody's Comin' Down Mets: Official Site The 7 Train LIRR FAFIF Says...
Very Hot Stove
Met Hell First Circle Second Circle Second Second Circle Fourth Circle Fifth Circle Aw Heck Sixth Circle Seventh Circle Eighth Circle Ninth Circle Redemption Look Who's No. 100-1 Criteria 100-91 90-81 80-71 70-61 60-51 50-41 40-31 30-21 20-11 10-1 * Years to Remember 1970 1975 1980 1985 1990 1995 2000 2005 Moments of Silence Hunter S. Thompson Bernie The Cat Nate Fisher Donn Clendenon John Spencer Lou Rawls Tom Belcher Five Years Later Cory Lidle Highlight Films Greatest Hits of 1986 Winter League 2005-2006 The 2005 Faith and Fear Yearbook 
|
It's Not There
Comments
Re: It's Not There
by
kowalski69
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 09:30 AM EDT | Permanent Link
Greg,
It's been fun. I'll point towards my head and heart, also. It'll always be there. As I walked towards the 7 Train in what felt like a funeral procession I couldn't help but notice there was a magnetism attracting my head and weight right at Shea. My last memory is probably going to be entering the Subway entrance whilst still staring at the Blue facade that will always be something special to all of us. Thank You, William A. Shea Municipal Stadium. - Roger Kowalski Re: It's Not There
by
CharlieH
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 10:06 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Greg,
The first game I ever went to was a 1973 1-hitter hurled by Atlanta's Ron Schueler. Willie Mays led off for the Mets. Henry Aaron was in the outfied for the Braves. Jerry Koosman pitched for the Good Guys. I will be able to recite this ver batim until the pennies cover my eyes. I will also recall the way the upper deck bounced, the papier-mache apple rising out of its cauldron-hat, the Bakin Robbins stand behind the plate on the field level, free tickets to the 1981 post-strike exhibition vs. the Blue Jays, THe Stones in '89, Sundays from 1991-2000 in Mezz./Sec. 7/Row A with my Dad... And UD/Sec. 22/Row A, seeing Greg Prince walk my way, giving the Sopranos greeting: "Ho! 'Dere he is!" and (usually) intoning our own version of "My God...Wasn't that awful?" I'll miss this ol' girl. It won't be the same in the Trophy Wife across the street... Re: It's Not There
by
tim
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 10:34 AM EDT | Permanent Link
My first game was a 1-hitter by Jon Matlack on Old Timer's Day over John Curtis of the Cards in 1974. Curtis got the hit, a clean single to left. Cleon Jones and Wayne Garrett hit homers for the 4-0 win.
I only visited Flushing Meadows twice more. We lived way upstate and a Mets game was a rare treat. The second game was a 7-0 win on another Old Timer's Day in 1978. Kevin Kobel and Dale Murray combined on the shutout, and Lee Mazzilli hit one out, much to my 16-year-old sister's delight. Finally, I saw the Mets lose at Shea, in 1988, 7-4 to the Expos. Bobby Ojeda was beaten by Pascual Perez. R.I.P. Shea. I didn't visit often enough, but you'll always be there in memories. On to CitiField and even happier memories. Re: It's Not There
by
Anonymous
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 11:23 AM EDT | Permanent Link
B-But... Aren't you all excited about those great new luxury boxes at the new Citi Field?
Re: It's Not There
by
Kingman
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 11:38 AM EDT | Permanent Link
A terrible day for Met fans. A death in the family for Shea fans. Thanks for all your posts down the stretch. You made the end of Shea as bearable as possible.
Re: It's Not There
by
Dave G
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 11:50 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I’m a long-distance Met fan and have only been able to visit Shea a handful of times, so as much as I’ll miss the old girl, I can’t pretend I’ll feel it as much as you lucky regular patrons. Thanks for the pieces on Shea these past few days, which really made me feel the finality of the occasion, even from afar. Wish I could have been there for the sendoff. I find myself moping around the office today, not so much because we missed the playoffs, but because Shea won’t be there next year.
Re: It's Not There
by
caryn
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 12:06 PM EDT | Permanent Link
At first I couldn't wait to leave, and then suddenly I absolutely had to get behind home plate upstairs. Had to get a shot from up there. Cursing my lack of a fisheye. Cursing that I didn't do it earlier this week, earlier this year, last year. That I was doing it with eyes that literally hurt from crying (all my photos from the end of the ceremony are blurry - if I'd known that I would have put the damn camera down).
My other half was ready to leave, I think, and instead I am dragging him around shea in the opposite direction of the way we need to do, just for a picture. And that's when we ran into you. You looked shellshocked. I know we didn't look much better, since we finally found someone to take our photo after the game (instead of BEFORE. what were we thinking?) I had committed to photographing the dismantling of Shea but I don't know that I can do it now. Re: It's Not There
by
Anonymous
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 01:43 PM EDT | Permanent Link
Found some Flickr photos that someone took of the closing ceremonies, brought back a ton of memories (Cleon Jones!!!!)
Anybody know a good site to download photos of great Met moments? Would love to create a nice screen saver when this ache goes away. -sjg$ Re: It's Not There
by
Kevin from Flushing
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 01:51 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Ugh... mets.com wasted no time getting rid of a lot of Shea info in their pulldown menu. I get it, it's progress, there's no reason to host a Shea seating chart anymore, but... can we have a few days' respect for the dead, please?
Also, my heart goes out to Schoenweis. For those who don't know, his wife had a premature baby that's supposedly barely hanging on. Despite this, he still went out and pitched yesterday, trying to get us to the post season. My hat's off to him. Re: It's Not There
by
Inside Pitcher
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 03:30 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
My first game at Shea was in 1970. It was against the Phillies. I can't remember who pitched. But I was there with my mom, grandfather and brother. Because my grandfather was blind and uneasy in crowds, we arrived at Shea very early and sat in our seats an interminably long time before the game began.
I've been to many games since then, and have attended games with my husband, my kids, and with many wonderful friends. I have a ton of memories of the place, and they're all good. P.S. I haven't seen anything about the Schoenweis story that Kevin From Flushing reports. But if it's true, my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. My daughter was a preemie - she thankfully survived, but I know how scary premature births can be. Re: Re: It's Not There
by
Kevin from Flushing
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 03:43 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
by
Inside Pitcher
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 05:12 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Thanks Kevin.
The article doesn't offer much in the way of detail. Preemies typically stay in the hospital until they reach something like the 5 pound mark, so we don't know what kind of shape the baby is in. That said, even if the baby is healthy but small, the experience of going through a premature birth is pretty dreadful. Hopefully that's all that he and his family are dealing with. Re: Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
No, no, the beautiful mind sitting behind me yesterday (more on him in a bit) was very insistent that Scott Schoeneweis "get it over with and stick a gun in his mouth," so obviously Schoeneweis has no excuses and nothing with which to concern himself except the approval of that guy who no doubt will always be there for Schoeneweis as he wished Schoeneweis' location was there for him.
Re: It's Not There
by
KingmanFan
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 03:34 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I'm angry about the loss and the blown opportunities to make the playoffs, and the gnawing fear that this team isn't that good and may never be. But I'm accustomed to this feeling, having had it so many times.
But I'm ineffably sad about Shea. All the joy and heartache, good times and bad I've had there for 30+ years. Literally the happiest and saddest moments of my life were at Shea. I know it was probably time to move on, but knowing doesn't make letting go any easier. Hey, how about a hand for management for puting together than final celebration? We kill them for everything they do wrong, but this was spot-on perfect. And despite initial misgivings, thank God they had the ceremony afer the game. Now, my last memory of Shea won't be despair and anger as we blow yet another season; it'll be Shea's bookend Hall of Famers walking out arm in arm to 'In My Life'. Re: Re: It's Not There
by
caryn
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 04:54 PM EDT | Permanent Link
funny. i have that memory, but i also have the memory of NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THEM ADEQUATELY BECAUSE THE FIELD WAS FILLED WITH STORM TROOPERS.
No seriously. Look at my Flickr feed. And I have a zoom lens. I don't have one decent photo of that ceremony that doesn't have a cop in the frame. They couldn't even START because that one mounted cop was blocking Mr. Met. I'm not saying it wasn't touching and heart rending and if by the end of it half my photos were blurry because I was crying so hard. But it was far, far from spot-on perfect. At least IMHO. Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
by
KingmanFan
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 05:21 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I think the fans have themselves to thank for the over-the-top police presence. Bum-rushing the field he way they did in '86 wasn't the fun celebration it was in '69; it was a bunch of drunks wrecking the field and assaulting the players trying to snag souvenirs.
Shea Security was worthless to the end. We made our way down to field level, hoping to get some ground-level pics and maybe reach down and grab a scoop of dirt. There were the orange-clad goons making sure to deny us entry, even now with the ballpark closed. Re: Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
by
Inside Pitcher
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 06:39 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I was NOT drunk on September 17th, 1986. Nor did I assault anyone.
Re: Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
by
caryn
on Tue 30 Sep 2008 03:40 PM EDT | Permanent Link
I don't buy that 1986 was the reason for the over-the-top presence in 2008. TWENTY TWO YEARS LATER, they're going to call in every off-duty NYPD in the five boroughs?
Sorry. Not buying it. It was disrespectful and unnecessary. I hope there were no capital crimes being committed in NYC at that moment. Re: Re: It's Not There
by
pcelli60
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 04:57 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
All I see is David Wright waving at a 3-2 fastball high and away on Wednesday night ..Give Pinella credit for pitching to him. That took the bat out of the hands of the next two hitters. Church was almost predictably weak at the plate and the rest - as they say- is history..
Rich Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
by
Kevin from Flushing
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 05:23 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I really hope people don't pin the whole season on this at bat. Don Darling unknowingly summed up the season perfectly last week when he said, "it seems like this team has brutal losses every night, but they always bounce back strong." Well Ronny, they did have a knack for bouncing back before September, but part one of the statement nails it: it seems like this team has brutal losses every night.
Sure we can point our fingers at Murph on third, nobody out. What about the game in Philly where we blew a 7-0 lead? What about at Shea when Johan left after 8 innings with a 5-2 lead against the Phillies, and they scored 6 in the ninth? Hell, how about ALL of those Santana blown saves? Or the Braves 5-run 9th two weeks ago? Or getting swept 4 games in San Diego to a Padre team that went on to lose 99 games? The list goes on, believe me. Don't blame Wright for the whole season. We took one brutal loss too many, and it was truly a team effort. Yes, the bullpen is at the forefront of the most glaring losses, but there were plenty of unexplainable nights when the offense was asleep. Mike Pelfrey lost TWO 1-0 GAMES TO THE NATIONALS, FOR GOD SAKES. I hope this helps rest a little easier this offseason. Getting stuck on one inning for an entire winter is rough and unneccesary. Re: Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
The Mets had brutal losses Monday, Wednesday and Friday and bounced back Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. If the Brewers had lost like we did Sunday, you know we would have been golden tonight.
Re: Re: Re: Re: It's Not There
by
Dennis
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 05:56 PM EDT | Permanent Link
"Getting stuck on one inning for an entire winter is rough and unneccesary."
That's a great point Kevin. My son and I were commiserating after the game and we were rattling off every game you just mentioned. I understand that every team in every season has some bad losses, but men, did we ever have our share this year. Re: It's Not There
by
Joe D.
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 07:01 PM EDT | Permanent Link
When Shea first opened I don't think there was a person among us who thought it would be torn down just 45 years later. That being said, Citifield might become a great ballpark but it will never truly be home for this generation of Met fans.
I think if we took a poll today, more would prefer a renovated Shea as opposed to a new ballpark built primarily for luxury boxes (which, based upon the current economic crisis, might not be sold). Re: It's Not There
by
JohnE
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 07:39 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I watched the finale from the upper deck behind the plate, where I've been on Sundays for the past 8 years. While holding the closing celebration at the end of the game at first struck me as another upside down decision by management, it did let me leave the park with the 45 years of memories at Shea uppermost in mind, instead of the day's frustration of falling short again. My first game at Shea was July 31, 1964, and I still have the scorecard from that game (vs. the Houston Colt. 45s and the Mets won), which will be joined by the program from today's game in the place where I keep such things. Kudos to whoever designed the program--it put the focus on the players and the fans and let both feel the connection between them. Next year, we will be in a new park with more comforts, better food, etc. But for those of us of a certain age, it probably will never rock (figurativlely and literally) quite like Shea.
Re: Re: It's Not There
by
Kevin from Flushing
on Mon 29 Sep 2008 09:35 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
"it probably will never rock (figurativlely and literally) quite like Shea."
Fran Healy would agree. Re: It's Not There
by
hsimms
on Tue 30 Sep 2008 01:09 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
My first game at Shea was the second game ever. A Saturday afternoon in April 1964 against the Pirates, Mezzanine Reserved, 1st base side, low row. Maybe $2.50 - $3.00. I was 12 going on 13.
I had said goodbye to a stadium before. Polo Grounds in 1963. My Dad said goodbye to the Polo Grounds twice. Once for the Giants, once for the Mets. I said goodbye to Shea on Wednesday. That dismal defeat to the Cubs. 9th inning, Murphy on 3rd, no one out. Come to think of it, the two times my Dad said goodbye to the Polo Grounds along with my last time there, home team lost. A lot of good times despite. If I have the time, I'll be there when the first wrecking ball hits. I was there when Shea was built, saw the whole thing happen. Kid living in downtown Flushing. Re: It's Not There
by
Anonymous
on Tue 30 Sep 2008 02:25 PM EDT | Permanent Link
I know that it is easy to bash the move and complain about the ticket prices. But I have had a mezz box for the last 17 years (actually moved closer to home a couple of years ago)...my average ticket price this year per ticket was 54.00. Next year, I am moving just past third base and will be 15 feet CLOSER to the field and will be only slightly higher up for an average price of 60.00 a ticket. I think this is fair value, and when you finally get into the new park, you won't miss the old one for anything.
My favorite memeory of Shea is a game in early April 1986. Mets-Pirates. It became known to me and my firends as Sammy Khalifa night, theonly Egyptian born player. Freezing cold, and I made my wife stay for the whole game in sec 1 behind home plate. We were the only ones in the section from the sixth innning on. 2 in the 8th and 2 in the 9th and the Mets Win. Shea held the cold very well. |